helloo

SOME THING ABOUT GIRLS

SOME THING ABOUT GIRLS










If you treat her nice she says"Yaar mujhe line de raha hai".



If you dont she says "Kitna akadta hai".



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If you dress nicely she says "Mujhay impress karna chahta hai".



If you dont she says "Tasteless hai yaar".



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If you argue with her she says "Ziddi hai".



If you sit quietly she says "Dumb hai".



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If you act smarter she'll lose her brain as you are insulting her.



If she acts smarter she think its her right.



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If you dont love her she says "Is ka to pehlay say hi 2,3 ladkioon ke saath chakar hai".



If you love her she says "Peechay hi pad gayaa hai".



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If you dont give her a kiss she says "Tum mujh say serious naheen ho".



If you give her a kiss she says "Yaar woh ladkaa flirt kar raha hai".



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If you dont tell her your problems she says "You are not honest to me".



If you do tell to her she says "You are a problem child".



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If you scold her she says "You act like a grandpa giving lecture".



If she scolds you she says "Yaar, its because i care".



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If you break a promise she says "He does not trust you any more".



If she breaks she says "Jaan main majboor thi"



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If you smoke she says "You are a bad guy".



If she smokes she says "I need this, please jaanu try to understand".



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If you do good in exams she says "Kismat ne saath diya warna tum or good marks".



If she gets good marks she says "Its my brain".



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If you hurt her she says "You are cruel & dont care of my feelings".



If she hurts you she replies" You are not understanding".

9 things never to say to a woman

Women, it's difficult to understand them.

One moment they are so loving and coy that they make you feel like a giant grizzly, who should protect them from this big, bad world; and the next they are bored and spat venom at whatever you may say. But try to imagine a woman who would always do what you asked her to do, said the right things, loved you for whatever you are worth – wouldn't it be a tad boring?

Before you say 'no', I would like to remind you that you fell for the woman because of her fire, her nastiness, her love and of course, the passion she always displays. But to stay on her right side, you have to know what not to say to her ever. And she will love you forever.





1. May I kiss you?

You are a man who she is out on date with. By asking such a question you are putting yourself in jeopardy. A man should never 'ask' for a kiss as it goes against everything a woman is looking for in a man. You may as well just tell her right there that you are a boy. Eight times of out nine, she is likely to say 'no' – so why even say it in the first place? If you so want to kiss her, grab her and plant a passionate one on her lips and watch her expression – she is going to love you forever!

2. May I take you out on a date?

Women like men to lead, to be in control. When you say something like this, like the above number 1, you lead her to believe you want to follow her. She is not looking for a wimp – but a man to be in control. Ask her out, but in a confident manner, something like, “Hey let's meet up for some drinks tonight?” Be specific, not wishy-washy, tell her the venue and time. And also tell her you'd like her to be punctual. C'mon, there is no harm in coming across as no-nonsense. It might win you brownie points. At least she will open her eyes and look at you.

3. I have it all

Anything about your car, job or house that sounds like you are trying to impress her, should not be talked about. Do you know what kind of guys brag about their cars, jobs and houses to women? Well, the truth is a lot of different kinds of guys, but women put them all in one category: guys who have nothing else to offer. Ask any attractive woman about this and she'll agree. Sure, you may attract some women, but even those women will be far more impressed by your material possessions if you don't mention them in conversation



4. What do you want to do?

There is a saying that a woman likes a 'man with a plan' and it is absolutely true. When you call a woman to hang out, make sure you have a game plan. Don't put the burden on her or she won't see you as the type of guy who can show her a good time.



5. How do you feel about me?

The fact that she is willing to go out with you, is indication enough. Don't ask obvious questions. You not only sound under-confident but also come across as someone who needs constant reassurance. And this can be very tedious. So don't ask, just assume she likes you, and go from there. Why shouldn't she like you?



6. I called, but you didn't call me back

If she doesn't bring up the matter, don't say anything about the call you made which she didn't return or the message she didn't reply to. Think it never happened and proceed forward. By asking her this there are two things 1. Showing that you care that she didn't return it. And it's too early for you to care buddy; 2. Giving her a guilt trip, which women see as insecurity.

7. How many men have you dated before me?

How do you care how many men she has dated before you? As long as she is nice with you and you two are having fun, it is okay. Remember to give a relationship enough time before asking personal or intimate questions. By asking such questions, you may be sealing your own fate. What if she never calls you after this date? You wouldn't want that to happen. It is okay if she brings it up. But trust me, you don't want to be the one to start this conversation. You can only lose.

8. Let's go bowling tomorrow

This is date number one. You don't know about date number two. So don't even hint about it by saying 'Let's eat Thai food next time.' Stop, stop, stop, stop! While this sounds good in theory, you must remember that women not only want but need a guy who is somewhat of a “challenge.” You may want to do some fun activities together, but don't let her know that she has “won you over” too quickly or you'll come off just like every other guy she's gone out with that is ready to “put a ring on it” after date No. 1.

9. I know what we should do

While on the phone, avoid saying tomorrow or next time we'll go there' as you are killing any spontaneity by being predictable. Second, you are also killing any chances of her calling you, as she has to now wait for your call or risk looking desperate. Not good.

Gifts you must avoid giving your girl

Make your girl feel loved and pampered by buying her gifts. But you need to really think through her likes and dislikes before you go ahead and buy her something. Here is a ready reckoner of what not to buy for your beloved.

These are some of the gifts that you must surely avoid giving your girlfriend.



Clothes of wrong size : Men, it’s time to realize that girls usually (or maybe mostly) lie about their sizes. By doing so, they try to be as close as perfect, at least to you! So avoid buying stuff basis the size that she’s casually told you about as it could turn out to be a disaster. Call center executive Poonam Singhal shares her experience: “My boyfriend once wanted to surprise me with an ‘unexpected and sexy gift.’ I kept on wondering what it would be till he got me an expensive Gas dress that I had once looked at while on a shopping spree, but had to drop it because it was a size small. I, of course, didn’t let my boyfriend know and said it was highly priced. And then I saw it in front of me and felt terrible.” So guys, this is a cue for you to take your girl out shopping. Never buy stuff unless you are sure of her size. We mean, really sure!



Cheap jewellery: Most women don’t like to be gifted inexpensive jewellery. You might spot her picking up stuff from a local flee market, but when it comes to gifting, do not even think of giving jewellery unless you can afford some really precious stuff. “My fiancé once gave me a piece of jewellery that looked very tacky. He felt pretty excited so I wore it on one of our dates, but the next day I developed a skin irritation and felt horrified,” says content writer Prachi Uppal. Same applies to cheap cosmetics. It will give a very wrong impression about you.



Gym membership: You see your girl incessantly talking about a treadmill, power yoga, spinning and you imagine that giving a gym membership would be the most valued thing you could gift her. Wrong! This will send out a very wrong message to her that you want her to workout more and lose some unpleasant fat.



Pup or a kitten: On the face of it, the idea sounds pretty cute and romantic, but, do not land yourself into trouble unless your girl has asked you for one. It is because once she gets over the initial excitement, she will realize that pets are just not adorable things, they also need a lot of care and time. The pet needs food and walks, poop training, not to forget the occasional vet visits. She might think that it was the worst gift given to her. So your pooch love can wait!

Something that you need: A gift that you are buying for her is not for you. So, do not even dream of giving her tickets for a cricket or football match or passes to a concert with free beer with one of your male buddies.

Non veg jokes

Aik train main daku ghuss aaye or pporee train ko loot lya, Beti:


daddy main nay apne ring save kar le or usay apne pussy main dal

dya, Daddy: Good .. Agar ye apne ammi ko bata datein to humara

SuitCase bhe bach jata......



Tention hai to charas loe,

dimag kamzoor hai to badam ka juice loe,

khoon ke kami hai to Anaar ka juice loe,

Mardaza kamzori hai to.. to .. to.. No Problem .. Mera Lund Choos

Loe..



Boy to Girl: sex kartay hoay zyada maza larki ko aata hai ya

larkay koe? Girl: agar tum apnay kaan(ear) main ungle(fingure) dalo

gay to kaan ko maza aata hai ya unglee koe....



Girl: I m like a radio, my left nipple is volume, my right nipple

id tuner,.. Boy turns both but there is no sound. Girl Said, Stupid

neechay Cell(batery) tera baap dalay ga.



Question: Why do most men prefer to kiss a woman's lips?

Answer: That's the best way to shut a woman's Horizontal mouth &

open the Vertical one...!



Once a boy came late to class.. Teacher said to him: tumhien

periods k miss honay ka zara bhe ehsas hai ? Boy Said: jee.. bohott

ehsas hai .. tub say jub say mere sister k periods aana ruk gaye

thay .. ammi bayhosh hoe gain thin abbu ko heart-attack hoe gaya tha

or mazay ke baat ye k humara driver bhe bhag gaya .... ;)



Larka Larki say: tum gana bohot acha gatey hoee ..

Larki: nahe yaar main to sirf bathroom singer hon,

Boy: acha... to kisi din bulao na dono mil k Mehfil jamatay hain ..



A Girl Sitting in Examination hall with Sardar je..

Girl: main aap ke naqal mar loon?

Sardar: Aahooo.. tu mere naqal mar lay phir main tere Asal maroon ga ...



Aankhein dewangi main laga baithay...

Dil Aashiqui main hara bethay....

Aap to award yafta GANDU Niklay...

KHUHRAY say bhe Gand Marwa Bethay...



Ek aurat apne padosi k sath sex kar rahi thi, k tbhi uska pati aa gaya aur padosi ko pitne laga,


Patni boli: maro aur maro prai aurat pe hath dalta hai,

itne me padosi uske pati ko pitne laga,

Patni fir boli: maro aur maro ''NA KARTA HAI NA KARNE DETA HAI

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PERSON WHO IS COMITTING SUICIDE AND A VIRGIN ? _ _ _ _ONE IS TRYING TO DIE. ....... THE OTHER ONE IS DYING TO TRY.....

One Mouse was fucking an Elephant in a coconut farm.


1 coconut fals on elephant's head.

ELPT-Ouch!

MOUSE-Ouch vouch kuch nahi Gandu, apna shot to aise hi hota hai.

Zindagi hai to Khwaab Hai

__Khwaab Hai To Manzilein Hai

____Manzilein Hai To Fasaley Hai

__________Fasaley Hai To Rastey Hai

_____________Rastay Hai To Mushkilein Hai

___________________Mushkilein Hai To Hausla Hai

_________________________Hausla Hai To Vishawas Hai

_____________________________Vishvas hai to Paisa hai

_______________________________Paisa hai to Shohrat hai

_____________________________________Shohrat hai to Izzat Hai

_________________________________________Izzat hai to Ladki hai

______________________________________Ladki hai to Tension hai

________________________________Tension hai to Concern hai

__________________________Concern hai to a Khayaal hai

______________________Khayaal hai to Khwaab hai

_________________Khawab hai to Growth hai

__________Growth hai to Zindagi hai

______Zindagi hai to khwaab hai

__Matlab duniya Gol Gol hai

Bas ghumnewala chahiye